the soothsaying summer slights the slack

On again, off again, jiggedy-jig-
Apart, then together to slaughter the pig.
The thrill of the kill is the sun's own these days
And has singed what to nothing, I wonder,
Since we've wandered opposite ways?
I can't say I've ever beheld you in summer's light-
My snowflakeladyvertex of twinklingstarryfrostbite

You and I will never be.
Even when I offered myself willingly
You said a Wolf you thought better,
Thus this Keeper's tether was frayed and severed.
And, you know, when e'er you flit away from me
I am set free from Satan's key.
Or perhaps I've learned, since we last adjourned,
That Tragedy does not need its key
For its floodGates can open Endlessly
Through the tiniest wound that can be found in me
Whenever it sees fit rather easily.

I do hope to find that that Cavalier will be for me
That fork who'll not maroon me to mere foam upon the sea-
That someday I'll sing on legs that stand
And not just of that old mutation of my hand,
That rope that once tied me to you.
I swear, someday I'll bid you adieu.

Someday one another's Spades' jack
Won't shovel out the heart of the other's jill.
Someday if the wolf-in-your-mind climbs onto your back
You won't want my oilblood to spill.

But what do I know?
Perhaps I shan't remember
That I'm only kicking up some reaper's dust
That will cloud our vision come September.
So continues the countdown,
Here's the two of the three,

Before the next swirling fall sinks its teeth into me.

ducklings.

I'd convinced myself I'd never want to show this wretched world to one more soul who'd have to hang his head so low to know such simple joys and tragic pains one must see to believe... Yet the Love in it is what makes up the core of me-

In my young-old age I've tired of these petty wars I wage, and I've learned from the mistakes I've been much too wise to make. Wouldn't I rather be a thing I always wished I'd seen? Devote my life to building that which was always denied to me? Breed some brooding ducklings? Teach them how to fly away and love freely?

In time I want a backyard barbecue where everyone I now know has paid their dues, and my husband's singing with our kids while I play catch-up with my friends. What are the means to that end?

I think at the finish line I'd prefer an empty nest than finish my life knowing it was full of emptiness...











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