Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Oh, it's no big deal, really. A familiar feeling. Easier, though. I mean, I didn't even meet you that long ago.

There is that brief moment that happens, cause it's fresh. Where your name pops into my head, or something comes up that we talked about. Something you were going to help me with, some plan we made half-heartedly. Then the, "oh, right. I guess that's not gonna happen now" moment of realization. The first day I cried a lot, but the following days where I normally would have been inconsolable I was pretty much fine. Still surprised, but fine. Maybe because you didn't burrow into my heart enough for me to care, or maybe because I've become more resilient. Not sure if either is all that comforting.

I was looking forward to it, to some relief from my furrowed brow and grief-stricken mindset, even if a temporary superficial one. I thought, maybe this would actually work. It seemed different. You seemed different. It's better this way, to not ever hear you make the promises the others only ever ended up breaking.